she was so not down for the gang bang
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
