WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
