You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
