I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You did what with his pubic hair?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
