whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
