she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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