I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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