i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
