Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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