I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
