it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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