But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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