Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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