Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
