my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
