btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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