Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
