The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
