I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
