I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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