Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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