The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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