Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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