when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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