Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
