Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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