Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
