i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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