I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
