Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize