guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
