i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
