Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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