Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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