The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
