I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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