Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
