You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
