Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
