Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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