sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
