Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he puts the penis in happiness.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The best revenge is premature balding
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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