if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
