did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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