is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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