I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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