I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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