Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I will be naked everywhere
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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