You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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