shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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