Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?