things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
