My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You really coming over, don't trick.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
