peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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