wanna go halves on a baby?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You're earring is so big in my mouth
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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