she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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