I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Small penises have feelings too.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
