glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
