And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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