genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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