Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
