So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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