Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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