hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
