lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
